The NBA? Nothing But a Complete Overhaul Will Do

I haven’t even considered going to a basketball game since the 90’s.  Nothing but a complete overhaul of the NBA fashion will bring me back.  I, for one, have no interest in paying to see a court full of ill-groomed men dressed in shambles.  Yuck. Those outfits are a disgrace.

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Steph!!  You look like you’re wearing yoga pants under your boyfriend’s gym shorts, because you’re on your period.  Are you cleaning house or playing in the NBA?  I can’t tell in that frumpy outfit.

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Remember Michael?  You could see his thighs!!  These days, I’m lucky to see some ankles.  Guys, are you home sick with mono or on national television?  Have some dignity.  Put on something hot for us.

What happened to the NBA?  Nobody cares how many times you put the ball through the hoop, if you look dowdy doing it.  Do you feel like you can’t live up to MJ’s bare thighs?  Is that what it is?  Are you insecure about your body image?  Nonsense, sweeties – you’re all beautiful!  Still, I understand insecurities with regard to body image.  Might I make a suggestion, then?

Meet Alexander Godunov!  Notice the god in his name? It should also be noted: shirtless is a good look.  Loose the baggy tanks. Take a lesson here.  He even went on to be a movie star.  What are you going to do when you get too old to chase a ball?  It’s time to start thinking about that now.  Look, do you want endorsements or not?  Pretty up then, for heaven’s sake. 😉

[Godunov pictures taken from Google Images]


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